We Can’t Be Equal While:

Gender Roles
1. Men are the default and women are the Other (and therefore lesser).
2. Being called “girly” or a “sissy” or “pussy” are some of the worst insults you can give a man.
3. When a woman shows confidence in herself, she is said to “have balls”, or conversely she is a “man-eater”, “ball-buster”, or a “bitch” because she was “too” assertive.
4. Men are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “effeminate” and women are beat up, ridiculed, or made fun of for being “masculine”.
5. Many people get angry when a woman questions the intentions behind a “chivalrous” act from a man.
6. There are men who refuse “chivalrous” acts from a woman, such as refusing to walk through a door that a woman holds open for them, while believing that it is rude for a woman to exercise the same right to refuse.
7. Women can’t express anger without the very real fear of being accused of “hysterics” or being “shrill”.
8. Women get scolded for “un-ladylike” behaviour: using coarse language, talking frankly about sex or other “impolite” topics, confidently voicing one’s dissenting opinion, etc.
9. People continue to believe and perpetuate gender essentialism based on bad science or using actual studies to “prove” the innateness of gender roles when the study itself supports no such thing.

Relationships, Sex, and Sexuality

10. For different-sex couples, women are expected to take their husband’s name, or at the very least hyphenate, but many men still balk at the idea of even considering adopting their wife’s name. If a woman decides to keep her name, both partners are interrogated and shamed by friends and family.
11. For same-sex couples, people think it is okay to ask “who’s the woman/man of the couple?”
12. Women are seen as the “gatekeepers” to morality/sexuality, charged with the duty of fending off the advances of men. If they fail then they were “asking for” it and/or are “damaged goods”. Their clothing/actions will always be questioned to see if they were “leading on” the man at all.
13. Men are seen as “beasts” who are unable to control their “raging hormones” – which absolves them of guilt for “improper” sex (anything from date rape to sex outside of marriage) but also paints them as uncivilized brutes.
14. Women are “sluts”, men are “players”.
15. Women’s worth goes down according to how many sexual partners people think she has had.
16. Men’s worth goes up according to how many sexual partners people think he has had.
17. We live in a rape culture where many people continue to blame the victims of rape and domestic violence.
18. We buy into the myth that all men (even minors) are, at all times, willing to fuck a “gorgeous” woman and any man who would pass up sex with a remotely attractive woman is deserving of ridicule.
19. Wives/mothers are still expected to do most of the home/childcare, even if they have a job outside the home.
20. Fathers/husbands are seen as bumbling dolts who are mentally incapable of cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, or any other traditionally feminine task.
21. There are significantly more stay-at-home moms than there are dads.
22. Men are expected to pay on a date, and some men expect women to put out for this “service”.

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