@4 days ago with 26143 notes
#tw blood #omg #sexual assault 

"(tw: rape) I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high."

Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”

Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.

And guys don’t understand why she was upset.

Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.

(via witchlingfumbles)

(Source: nosuchthingasfiction, via hellbentforleather)

@9 months ago with 66825 notes
#tw: rape #sexual assault 

"

If you think that the nice guy ranting only happens on the internet, you’ve never had to deal with your thoroughly drunken friend shouting about how no girls would go out with a nice guy like him, even though he’s surrounded by single women he ignores because they aren’t attractive enough for him.

If you think guys getting pissy and escalating matters because you told people to stop making sex jokes is a feature of the internet, well, you’ve never asked anyone to stop making jokes that make you uncomfortable.

If you think that inappropriate comments and requests for sex are an internet thing, you’ve never tried to stop a coworker or boss from hitting on you repeatedly, or a head of security, or the guy at the convenience store across the street.

If you think that being shouted at and asked to show people your tits just because you present as a woman only happens in chat rooms and online games, you’ve never walked past a frat house, or, unfortunately, through the main thoroughfares of either university I’ve attended.

If you think unasked for commentary on a woman’s looks only happens because girls post pictures on internet forums (which probably means they’re asking for it), you’ve never been at a bus stop, or the city square, or a mall, or… well, anywhere, really.

If you think insecure men trying to drive women out of activism only happens in online male-dominated communities, you’ve never paid attention politics. Or Fox. Or CNN, sadly.

If you think the reaction to rape victims is bad on twitter, try sharing that experience in person. Or try even standing up for a rape victim. Count how many minutes until someone points out “but men can be falsely accused! The woman just changed her mind! You just can’t believe those drunk *insert varying level of insulting reference to gender*!”

"

@1 year ago with 10789 notes
#text #info #sexual assault #rape 

*tw* Melissa Harris-Perry, rape survivor, sends an open letter to Richard Mourdock 

andmodern:

Everyone needs to watch this video, left, right, center, apathetic—it doesn’t matter. This is the very essence of rape illiteracy that is still being fought in 2012.

Share with everyone. You never know who needs these words the most.

Dear Mr. Mourdock,

Sometimes I still flinch when I’m touched a certain way, even if it’s the loving embrace of my husband. I can’t stand to watch TV shows where rape is the central plot line. Even some seasons of the year are harder for me. Those of us who are sexual assault survivors call these triggers. We spend our lives — the lives we lead after the attack — avoiding and managing these triggers.

A congressional debate shouldn’t have to come with a trigger warning. But apparently, Richard, yours should. Because in Tuesday’s debate for Indiana’s U.S. Senate seat, you said this Tuesday night during a debate in New Albany, Indiana.

“I believe that life begins at conception…The only exception I have, to have an abortion, is in that case of the life of the mother. I’ve struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

Rape and sexual assault are complicated experiences for survivors. Some of us fight, kick, scream, and resist at every moment. Some of us eventually give in to save our own lives or to manage the horror. Some of us know that what is happening is rape, others of us just know it is wrong, but don’t have the words to describe why. Some of us push the memories down and try to forget, others of us battle openly with the nightmares and scars every day. There is no one right way to survive. There is no one right way to feel.

As we heal, we learn not to judge ourselves or to judge our fellow survivors, because we learn that judgment can wound as deeply as assault. If a woman finds herself pregnant after a rape, we do not judge the choices she makes.

I am descended from American slaves. I have foremothers who found themselves pregnant with children whose birth increased the wealth of the very man who enslaved and raped them. Somehow, through the angst and misery of that experience some of those women found a way to love and embrace the children they bore from rape. So I do not doubt the compassion or judge the choice of a survivor who carries a rape pregnancy to term.

But the whole point is choice. Consent. You see, Mr. Mourdock, the violation of rape is more than physical. Rapists strip women of our right to choose, of our right to say no, of our right to control what is happening to our bodies. Most assailants tell us it is our fault. They tell us to be silent. Sometimes they even tell us it’s God’s will. That is the core violation of rape– it takes away choice.

Richard, you believe it is fine to ignore a women’s right to choose because of your interpretation of divinity. Sound familiar?

Let me explain something to you. When we survive sexual assault, we are the gift. When we survive, when we go on to love, to work, to speak out, to have fun, to laugh, to dance, to cry, tolive, when we do that, we defeat our attackers. For a moment, they strip us of our choices. As we heal, we take our choices back. We are the gift to ourselves, our families, our communities, and our nation when we survive.

Now let me say this very clearly to you Mr Mourdock, and to all of your shameless endorsers: we did not survive an attack on our consent just to turn around and give up our right to choose to you. Not without a fight.

Are you sure you want to have that fight?

Sincerely,

Melissa

(via dykevibes)

@1 year ago with 3477 notes
#tw: rape #sexual assault 

"

An 8-year-old girl camper began swimming near the edge of the pool by me. She was a tiny girl with a bubbly personality, and she was very attached to me. Upon seeing us talking, the boy swam over and started chasing her around the water. It was clear from the way she was trying to get away from him and her screeching that she wanted to be left alone — her body language and tense demeanor should have showed that she was uncomfortable — but if that wasn’t enough of a clue, the “stop” she yelled in protest should have been enough for him to go away.

That’s when it really hit me how serious the situation was. I could immediately picture it escalating. I didn’t see an 8-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy anymore; I saw the two of them as fully grown and matured adults. The girl was still small and skinny, and the boy was large enough to overpower her with little effort. I could see her running away from him, trying to push off his advances in a more sexual situation, but him refusing to believe that she really wanted him to stop. I saw him ignoring her physical protests right along with the verbal ones, convinced she wanted him there. It horrified me.

I reprimanded him immediately, insisting that when someone asks you to stop, it’s important to listen. Almost seconds later, a male counselor standing by the same section of the pool told him not to listen to me and to continue his pursuit of this little girl, despite her obvious protests. Here were two boys, roughly 10 years apart in age, but with the same views on women: that consent doesn’t matter. It’s not a generational thing: this mindset has clearly been ingrained into the public psyche from an early age. How often are we told not to take no for an answer? How often do we see children pestering their parents about getting a new toy until they eventually give in? How often do we hear about a woman’s whims coming with her menstrual cycle? How often do we see on television shows and in movies a woman “changing her mind” about a man who is persistent enough or who just proves himself worthy? The idea that a woman will change her mind is so ingrained that we can’t always recognize it at first.

"

Jackie Klein, A Lesson In Consent For All Ages, (via feminspire)

Please teach your kids, especially your sons, from an early age to respect others space and bodies.

(via face-down-asgard-up)

As someone who got groped by a bunch of teenagers in a swimming pool when I was 11 this strikes really close to home. The lifeguards at the swimming pool said it were just boys being boys until one of them tried to rip my bathing suit off. I still don’t feel save so it angers me that this counselor told a boy to pursue this guy and violate her personal space/that we shouldn’t respect that person’s body. Fuck that shit.

(via jhameia)

@1 year ago with 52286 notes
#sexual assault #consent 

(Source: muschifuchs, via sanityscraps)

@2 years ago with 22 notes
#tw: rape #trigger warning #rape culture #sexual assault 

projectunbreakable:

I had the honor of photographing this woman on Friday. She chose to write two quotes from abuse she endured from her partner, something she feels can often be written off too quickly when it is compared to other types of abuse.

@2 years ago with 118 notes
#projectunbreakable #rape #sexual assault #Trigger warning #tw: rape #tw: sexual assault 
@2 years ago with 249 notes
#Misfits #sexual assault #drug #rape 

"

When I was seventeen and preparing to leave for university, my mother’s only brother saw fit to give me some advice.
“Just don’t be an idiot, kid,” he told me, “and don’t ever forget that boys and girls can never just be friends.”
I laughed and answered, “I’m not too worried. And I don’t really think all guys are like that.”

When I was eighteen and the third annual advent of the common cold was rolling through residence like a pestilent fog, a friend texted me asking if there was anything he could do to help.
I told him that if he could bring me up some vitamin water that would be great, if it wasn’t too much trouble.
That semester I learned that human skin cells replace themselves every three to five weeks. I hoped that in a month, maybe I’d stop feeling the echoes of his touch; maybe my new skin would feel cleaner.
It didn’t. But I stood by what I said. Not all guys are like that.

When I was nineteen and my roommate decided the only way to celebrate the end of midterms was to get wasted at a club, I humoured her.
Four drinks, countless leers and five hands up my skirt later, I informed her I was ready to leave.
“I get why you’re upset,” she told me on the walk home, “but you have to tolerate that sort of thing if you want to have any fun. And really, not all guys are like that.”

(Age nineteen also saw me propositioned for casual sex by no fewer than three different male friends, and while I still believe that guys and girls can indeed be just friends, I was beginning to see my uncle’s point.)

When I was twenty and a stranger that started chatting to me in my usual cafe asked if he could walk with me (since we were going the same way and all), I accepted.
Before we’d even made it three blocks he was pulling me into an alleyway and trying to put his hands up my shirt. “You were staring,” he laughed when I asked what the fuck he was doing (I wasn’t), “I’m just taking pity.”
But not all guys are like that.

I am twenty one and a few days ago a friend and I were walking down the street. A car drove by with the windows down, and a young man stuck his head out and whistled as they passed. I ignored it, carrying on with the conversation.
My friend did not. “Did you know those people?” He asked.
“Not at all,” I answered.
Later when we sat down to eat he got this thoughtful look on his face. When I asked what was wrong he said, “You know not all guys do that kind of thing, right? We’re not all like that.”
As if he were imparting some great profound truth I’d never realized before. My entire life has been turned around, because now I’ve been enlightened: not all guys are like that.

No. Not all guys are. But enough are. Enough that I am uncomfortable when a man sits next to me on the bus. Enough that I will cross to the other side of the street if I see a pack of guys coming my way. Enough that even fleeting eye contact with a male stranger makes my insides crawl with unease. Enough that I cannot feel safe alone in a room with some of my male friends, even ones I’ve known for years. Enough that when I go out past dark for chips or milk or toilet paper, I carry a knife, I wear a coat that obscures my figure, I mimic a man’s gait. Enough that three years later I keep the story of that day to myself, when the only thing that saved me from being raped was a right hook to the jaw and a threat to scream in a crowded dorm, because I know what the response will be.

I live my life with the everburning anxiety that someone is going to put their hands on me regardless of my feelings on the matter, and I’m not going to be able to stop them. I live with the knowledge that statistically one in three women have experienced a sexual assault, but even a number like that can’t be trusted when we are harassed into silence. I live with the learned instinct, the ingrained compulsion to keep my mouth shut to jeers and catcalls, to swallow my anger at lewd suggestions and crude gestures, to put up my walls against insults and threats. I live in an environment that necessitates armouring myself against it just to get through a day peacefully, and I now view that as normal. I have adapted to extreme circumstances and am told to treat it as baseline. I carry this fear close to my heart, rooted into my bones, and I do so to keep myself unharmed.

So you can tell me that not all guys are like that, and you’d even be right, but that isn’t the issue anymore. My problem is not that I’m unaware of the fact that some guys are perfectly civil, decent, kind—my problem is simply this:

In a world where this cynical overcaution is the only thing that ensures my safety, I’m no longer willing to take the risk.

"

r.d. (via vonmoire)

(Source: elferinge, via solar--gambling)

@6 months ago with 123557 notes
#sexual assault #sexual harasment #misogyny #text 

AR Wear - Confidence & Protection That Can Be Worn 

aliceinnappyland:

winchesterdis:

wolvensnothere:

Clothing designed specifically to frustrate sexual assault.

THIS IS IMPORTANT GUYS

This is kind of awesome. And it has 20 days left! 

(via jhameia)

@10 months ago with 4078 notes
#It's kinda sad that we need products like this to prevent rape #but kuddos to the people who developed this #rape #sexual assault #clothing 

"

[TW: Rape, Sexual Violence]

“we are here to tell her that women have every right to be adventurous. We will be adventurous. We will be reckless. We will be rash. We will do nothing for our safety. Don’t you dare tell us how to dress, when to go out at night, in the day, or how to walk or how many escorts we need! I am saying this because I feel that the word ‘safety’ with regard to women has been used far too much — all us women know what this ‘safety’ refers to, we have heard our parents use it, we have heard our communities, our principals, our wardens use it. Women know what ‘safety’ refers to. It means – You behave yourself. You get back into the house. You don’t dress in a particular way. Do not live by your freedom, and this means that you are safe. A whole range of patriarchal laws and institutions tell us what to do in the guise of keeping us ‘safe’. We reject this entire notion. We don’t want it.”

"

Kavita Krishnan, secretary, All India Progressive Women’s Association (AIPWA),

Following the bestial sexual attack on a 23-year-old paramedical student in Delhi, the capital, along with other cities across the country, has seen numerous protests demanding justice not just for the survivor, but better laws and stringent action against sexual offenders per se. When on Wednesday 19 December students and protesters marched towards the Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit’s house, the police tried to ward them off with water cannons. 

(via thisisnotindia)

(Source: tehelka.com, via iamthecrime)

@1 year ago with 548 notes
#tw: rape #sexual assault #India 

(TW: Rape, ableism) "Women are assumed to be in a constant state of consent unless they explicitly state otherwise, says Connecticut supreme court" 

goldenheartedrose:

spastasmagoria:

“The state Supreme Court Monday threw out the conviction of a city man found guilty of sexually assaulting a severely handicapped woman.

In a 4-3 decision, the high court ruled that despite evidence the 26-year-old woman cannot speak and has little body movement, there was no evidence she could not communicate her refusal to have sex with the defendant, Richard Fourtin Jr. As a result of the ruling, Fourtin goes free and cannot be tried for the case again.” READ THE FULL ARTICLE - “Supreme Court sets accused rapist free”

What the actual fuck!?

JFC.  I can’t even….

(Source: reddit.com, via lipstick-feminists)

@1 year ago with 6200 notes
#excuse me while I vomit #I don't want to live on this planet anymore #tw: rape #sexual assault #the 'justice' system 
fuckyeahsexeducation:

TW: Assault/Rape
hungoverjesus:

rats-in-the-walls:

folk-piggie:

spellbound-masquerade:
THIS.

theducttapeproject:

The Duct Tape Project“Men and boys can be assaulted and raped by women. It’s not related to masculinity”Either gender can be assaulted by either gender. People tend to think that it is not possible for males to be assaulted by females. This is not true. And it doesn’t make the victim any less of a man for it before the assault or afterwards.

Too many people forget that males can also be raped. It’s not just females who get abused and/or raped. Males do as well. This needs to change. Just because a male gets raped, it doesn’t make him any less deserving of help than if it was a female who was raped by a male. It can go the other way round.

People’s general attitude towards men being sexually assaulted is “lol” and “well that doesn’t sound like a problem!” This attitude contributes towards men feeling emasculated and it needs to stop. 

I’m glad that people didn’t just go “lol did you like it?” when it happened to me.

This needs to be circulated more.

fuckyeahsexeducation:

TW: Assault/Rape

hungoverjesus:

rats-in-the-walls:

folk-piggie:

spellbound-masquerade:

THIS.

theducttapeproject:

The Duct Tape Project
“Men and boys can be assaulted and raped by women. It’s not related to masculinity”

Either gender can be assaulted by either gender. People tend to think that it is not possible for males to be assaulted by females. This is not true. And it doesn’t make the victim any less of a man for it before the assault or afterwards.

Too many people forget that males can also be raped. It’s not just females who get abused and/or raped. Males do as well. This needs to change. Just because a male gets raped, it doesn’t make him any less deserving of help than if it was a female who was raped by a male. It can go the other way round.

People’s general attitude towards men being sexually assaulted is “lol” and “well that doesn’t sound like a problem!” This attitude contributes towards men feeling emasculated and it needs to stop. 

I’m glad that people didn’t just go “lol did you like it?” when it happened to me.

This needs to be circulated more.

@2 years ago with 2930 notes
#tw: rape #tw: sexual assault #rape #sexual assault 

McDonald’s strip-search hoax turned into movie without victim’s knowledge

Tw: Rape, victim blaming

Zobel changed the names for his movie and set it in a fictional “Chick-Wich” restaurant in Ohio. But he said in several interviews with online publications that it was based on the Bullitt County case and that the “weirder and yuckier the things in our movie, the more likely it is that they really happened.”


Ogborn, who won a $6.1 million jury verdict against McDonald’s that was later settled for an undisclosed sum, has since married and had a child. She didn’t respond to requests for comment.

Stewart’s lawyer, Steve Romines, said his client hadn’t known about the movie.

McDonald’s corporate spokesman, William Whitman, didn’t respond to a request for comment and neither did its Louisville lawyer, Margaret Keane.

Legal experts, including Bill Hollander, an intellectual property lawyer who is managing partner of the Louisville firm of Wyatt Tarrant & Combs, said filmmakers may fictionalize someone’s life story without their consent, although they could be sued for defamation or invasion of privacy if they knowingly or recklessly get the facts wrong.

Jennifer Rothman, a professor at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles who has worked in the movie industry, said filmmakers customarily buy story rights from a subject to avoid subsequent litigation and criticism.

In an interview on New York Magazine’s entertainment website “Vulture,” Zobel admits that his movie, which isn’t rated, is challenging to watch, even for him. “It’s not for everybody.”

He said he didn’t make it just for controversy but knew it would bother some people.

“So beat me up,” he said. “I am not going to apologize.”


He has described the film as about “the danger of letting go of one’s own common-sense belief system and giving it over to authority. I think that happens all the time, and the consequences, like in this movie, are huge.”

Ogborn’s character is played by actress Dreama Walker, who has appeared in the teen TV drama “Gossip Girl” and played Clint Eastwood’s granddaughter in the movie “Gran Torino.”

The Courier-Journal was told that Walker wasn’t available for an interview. But she told a Los Angeles Times movie blogger that she studied transcripts and interviews from the McDonald’s case to get her part right.

“My whole thing for playing the character was that she wasn’t an idiot,” she said. “She was just really young, very naive and was in these high-stakes circumstances where she thought she was going to lose her job if she didn’t do as she was told.


“We all think we would react in a certain way, react boldly,” Walker said. “Sometimes that’s not really the case at all.”

Oldfather said Ogborn is trying to put her ordeal behind her and most likely will never see “Compliance.”

“My feeling is the last thing she would ever want to do is watch a movie about something that was hell for her,” Oldfather said.

The perverse tale of blind obedience to authority first unfolded eight years ago in a McDonald’s restaurant in Mount Washington, Ky., just south of Louisville, when an 18-year-old employee was subjected to a humiliating strip search orchestrated by a prank caller pretending to be a cop.

Now it may be coming to a theater near you.

“Compliance,” a movie based on the McDonald’s strip-search hoax case, premiered last month at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah and has been acquired by a major distributor, which expects to release it this summer.

Dozens of film-goers walked out of the debut and hecklers later screamed at director Craig Zobel that his 90-minute film was exploitative and misogynistic.

“Rape is not entertainment,” one of them yelled at a question-and-answer session with the director.

But critics generally have raved about the movie, which includes scenes with nudity and degradation.


Hollywood Reporter called it “a suspenseful psychological drama for viewers prepared to tolerate its extremes,” while bestmoviesevernews.com said it “works wonderfully as a horror suspense film without any gore or blood.”

“So beat me up,” he said. “I am not going to apologize.” 

You sir are a huge asshole. He doesn’t care about what really happened, he’s just exploiting the situation and making money out of it.
Seriously fuck whoever thought this was a good idea, fuck the person who didn’t ask for the victim her consent to make this movie and not getting the facts right, fuck anyone who supports this fucking asshole and this movie.

(Source: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com)

@2 years ago with 2 notes
#rape #sexual assault #rape culture 

The Not Rape Epidemic: "Yes, we learned a lot about rape. What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely. Not rape was all those other little things that we experienced everyday and struggled to learn how to deal with those situations. In those days, my ears were filled with secrets that were not my own, the confessions of not rapes experienced by the girls I knew then and the women I know now." 

(via shiftyshrike)

@2 years ago with 36 notes
#Sexual assault 
4 days ago
#tw blood #omg #sexual assault 
"

When I was seventeen and preparing to leave for university, my mother’s only brother saw fit to give me some advice.
“Just don’t be an idiot, kid,” he told me, “and don’t ever forget that boys and girls can never just be friends.”
I laughed and answered, “I’m not too worried. And I don’t really think all guys are like that.”

When I was eighteen and the third annual advent of the common cold was rolling through residence like a pestilent fog, a friend texted me asking if there was anything he could do to help.
I told him that if he could bring me up some vitamin water that would be great, if it wasn’t too much trouble.
That semester I learned that human skin cells replace themselves every three to five weeks. I hoped that in a month, maybe I’d stop feeling the echoes of his touch; maybe my new skin would feel cleaner.
It didn’t. But I stood by what I said. Not all guys are like that.

When I was nineteen and my roommate decided the only way to celebrate the end of midterms was to get wasted at a club, I humoured her.
Four drinks, countless leers and five hands up my skirt later, I informed her I was ready to leave.
“I get why you’re upset,” she told me on the walk home, “but you have to tolerate that sort of thing if you want to have any fun. And really, not all guys are like that.”

(Age nineteen also saw me propositioned for casual sex by no fewer than three different male friends, and while I still believe that guys and girls can indeed be just friends, I was beginning to see my uncle’s point.)

When I was twenty and a stranger that started chatting to me in my usual cafe asked if he could walk with me (since we were going the same way and all), I accepted.
Before we’d even made it three blocks he was pulling me into an alleyway and trying to put his hands up my shirt. “You were staring,” he laughed when I asked what the fuck he was doing (I wasn’t), “I’m just taking pity.”
But not all guys are like that.

I am twenty one and a few days ago a friend and I were walking down the street. A car drove by with the windows down, and a young man stuck his head out and whistled as they passed. I ignored it, carrying on with the conversation.
My friend did not. “Did you know those people?” He asked.
“Not at all,” I answered.
Later when we sat down to eat he got this thoughtful look on his face. When I asked what was wrong he said, “You know not all guys do that kind of thing, right? We’re not all like that.”
As if he were imparting some great profound truth I’d never realized before. My entire life has been turned around, because now I’ve been enlightened: not all guys are like that.

No. Not all guys are. But enough are. Enough that I am uncomfortable when a man sits next to me on the bus. Enough that I will cross to the other side of the street if I see a pack of guys coming my way. Enough that even fleeting eye contact with a male stranger makes my insides crawl with unease. Enough that I cannot feel safe alone in a room with some of my male friends, even ones I’ve known for years. Enough that when I go out past dark for chips or milk or toilet paper, I carry a knife, I wear a coat that obscures my figure, I mimic a man’s gait. Enough that three years later I keep the story of that day to myself, when the only thing that saved me from being raped was a right hook to the jaw and a threat to scream in a crowded dorm, because I know what the response will be.

I live my life with the everburning anxiety that someone is going to put their hands on me regardless of my feelings on the matter, and I’m not going to be able to stop them. I live with the knowledge that statistically one in three women have experienced a sexual assault, but even a number like that can’t be trusted when we are harassed into silence. I live with the learned instinct, the ingrained compulsion to keep my mouth shut to jeers and catcalls, to swallow my anger at lewd suggestions and crude gestures, to put up my walls against insults and threats. I live in an environment that necessitates armouring myself against it just to get through a day peacefully, and I now view that as normal. I have adapted to extreme circumstances and am told to treat it as baseline. I carry this fear close to my heart, rooted into my bones, and I do so to keep myself unharmed.

So you can tell me that not all guys are like that, and you’d even be right, but that isn’t the issue anymore. My problem is not that I’m unaware of the fact that some guys are perfectly civil, decent, kind—my problem is simply this:

In a world where this cynical overcaution is the only thing that ensures my safety, I’m no longer willing to take the risk.

"
r.d. (via vonmoire)

(Source: elferinge, via solar--gambling)

6 months ago
#sexual assault #sexual harasment #misogyny #text 
"(tw: rape) I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped.
The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high."

Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak, on the question “Have any readers ever asked questions that shocked you?”

Read that again. Read it again, and again, and again. Over and over guys have asked her why Melinda was so upset about being raped. This is a girl who went to a party with friends. She was thirteen. She had a drink, because everyone else was. And a senior held her down and raped her while she was too drunk to get away.

And guys don’t understand why she was upset.

Read that again and then come back and tell me again why I should just shut up and take a joke when a comedian blows off rape as a big deal, or women’s bodies are casually treated as commodities in media. Remind me why I shouldn’t care about the very real harm that society’s treatment of women and sexual assault does.

(via witchlingfumbles)

(Source: nosuchthingasfiction, via hellbentforleather)

9 months ago
#tw: rape #sexual assault 
AR Wear - Confidence & Protection That Can Be Worn→

aliceinnappyland:

winchesterdis:

wolvensnothere:

Clothing designed specifically to frustrate sexual assault.

THIS IS IMPORTANT GUYS

This is kind of awesome. And it has 20 days left! 

(via jhameia)

10 months ago
#It's kinda sad that we need products like this to prevent rape #but kuddos to the people who developed this #rape #sexual assault #clothing 
"

If you think that the nice guy ranting only happens on the internet, you’ve never had to deal with your thoroughly drunken friend shouting about how no girls would go out with a nice guy like him, even though he’s surrounded by single women he ignores because they aren’t attractive enough for him.

If you think guys getting pissy and escalating matters because you told people to stop making sex jokes is a feature of the internet, well, you’ve never asked anyone to stop making jokes that make you uncomfortable.

If you think that inappropriate comments and requests for sex are an internet thing, you’ve never tried to stop a coworker or boss from hitting on you repeatedly, or a head of security, or the guy at the convenience store across the street.

If you think that being shouted at and asked to show people your tits just because you present as a woman only happens in chat rooms and online games, you’ve never walked past a frat house, or, unfortunately, through the main thoroughfares of either university I’ve attended.

If you think unasked for commentary on a woman’s looks only happens because girls post pictures on internet forums (which probably means they’re asking for it), you’ve never been at a bus stop, or the city square, or a mall, or… well, anywhere, really.

If you think insecure men trying to drive women out of activism only happens in online male-dominated communities, you’ve never paid attention politics. Or Fox. Or CNN, sadly.

If you think the reaction to rape victims is bad on twitter, try sharing that experience in person. Or try even standing up for a rape victim. Count how many minutes until someone points out “but men can be falsely accused! The woman just changed her mind! You just can’t believe those drunk *insert varying level of insulting reference to gender*!”

"
1 year ago
#text #info #sexual assault #rape 
"

[TW: Rape, Sexual Violence]

“we are here to tell her that women have every right to be adventurous. We will be adventurous. We will be reckless. We will be rash. We will do nothing for our safety. Don’t you dare tell us how to dress, when to go out at night, in the day, or how to walk or how many escorts we need! I am saying this because I feel that the word ‘safety’ with regard to women has been used far too much — all us women know what this ‘safety’ refers to, we have heard our parents use it, we have heard our communities, our principals, our wardens use it. Women know what ‘safety’ refers to. It means – You behave yourself. You get back into the house. You don’t dress in a particular way. Do not live by your freedom, and this means that you are safe. A whole range of patriarchal laws and institutions tell us what to do in the guise of keeping us ‘safe’. We reject this entire notion. We don’t want it.”

"

Kavita Krishnan, secretary, All India Progressive Women’s Association (AIPWA),

Following the bestial sexual attack on a 23-year-old paramedical student in Delhi, the capital, along with other cities across the country, has seen numerous protests demanding justice not just for the survivor, but better laws and stringent action against sexual offenders per se. When on Wednesday 19 December students and protesters marched towards the Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit’s house, the police tried to ward them off with water cannons. 

(via thisisnotindia)

(Source: tehelka.com, via iamthecrime)

1 year ago
#tw: rape #sexual assault #India 
*tw* Melissa Harris-Perry, rape survivor, sends an open letter to Richard Mourdock→

andmodern:

Everyone needs to watch this video, left, right, center, apathetic—it doesn’t matter. This is the very essence of rape illiteracy that is still being fought in 2012.

Share with everyone. You never know who needs these words the most.

Dear Mr. Mourdock,

Sometimes I still flinch when I’m touched a certain way, even if it’s the loving embrace of my husband. I can’t stand to watch TV shows where rape is the central plot line. Even some seasons of the year are harder for me. Those of us who are sexual assault survivors call these triggers. We spend our lives — the lives we lead after the attack — avoiding and managing these triggers.

A congressional debate shouldn’t have to come with a trigger warning. But apparently, Richard, yours should. Because in Tuesday’s debate for Indiana’s U.S. Senate seat, you said this Tuesday night during a debate in New Albany, Indiana.

“I believe that life begins at conception…The only exception I have, to have an abortion, is in that case of the life of the mother. I’ve struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

Rape and sexual assault are complicated experiences for survivors. Some of us fight, kick, scream, and resist at every moment. Some of us eventually give in to save our own lives or to manage the horror. Some of us know that what is happening is rape, others of us just know it is wrong, but don’t have the words to describe why. Some of us push the memories down and try to forget, others of us battle openly with the nightmares and scars every day. There is no one right way to survive. There is no one right way to feel.

As we heal, we learn not to judge ourselves or to judge our fellow survivors, because we learn that judgment can wound as deeply as assault. If a woman finds herself pregnant after a rape, we do not judge the choices she makes.

I am descended from American slaves. I have foremothers who found themselves pregnant with children whose birth increased the wealth of the very man who enslaved and raped them. Somehow, through the angst and misery of that experience some of those women found a way to love and embrace the children they bore from rape. So I do not doubt the compassion or judge the choice of a survivor who carries a rape pregnancy to term.

But the whole point is choice. Consent. You see, Mr. Mourdock, the violation of rape is more than physical. Rapists strip women of our right to choose, of our right to say no, of our right to control what is happening to our bodies. Most assailants tell us it is our fault. They tell us to be silent. Sometimes they even tell us it’s God’s will. That is the core violation of rape– it takes away choice.

Richard, you believe it is fine to ignore a women’s right to choose because of your interpretation of divinity. Sound familiar?

Let me explain something to you. When we survive sexual assault, we are the gift. When we survive, when we go on to love, to work, to speak out, to have fun, to laugh, to dance, to cry, tolive, when we do that, we defeat our attackers. For a moment, they strip us of our choices. As we heal, we take our choices back. We are the gift to ourselves, our families, our communities, and our nation when we survive.

Now let me say this very clearly to you Mr Mourdock, and to all of your shameless endorsers: we did not survive an attack on our consent just to turn around and give up our right to choose to you. Not without a fight.

Are you sure you want to have that fight?

Sincerely,

Melissa

(via dykevibes)

1 year ago
#tw: rape #sexual assault 
(TW: Rape, ableism) "Women are assumed to be in a constant state of consent unless they explicitly state otherwise, says Connecticut supreme court"→

goldenheartedrose:

spastasmagoria:

“The state Supreme Court Monday threw out the conviction of a city man found guilty of sexually assaulting a severely handicapped woman.

In a 4-3 decision, the high court ruled that despite evidence the 26-year-old woman cannot speak and has little body movement, there was no evidence she could not communicate her refusal to have sex with the defendant, Richard Fourtin Jr. As a result of the ruling, Fourtin goes free and cannot be tried for the case again.” READ THE FULL ARTICLE - “Supreme Court sets accused rapist free”

What the actual fuck!?

JFC.  I can’t even….

(Source: reddit.com, via lipstick-feminists)

1 year ago
#excuse me while I vomit #I don't want to live on this planet anymore #tw: rape #sexual assault #the 'justice' system 
"

An 8-year-old girl camper began swimming near the edge of the pool by me. She was a tiny girl with a bubbly personality, and she was very attached to me. Upon seeing us talking, the boy swam over and started chasing her around the water. It was clear from the way she was trying to get away from him and her screeching that she wanted to be left alone — her body language and tense demeanor should have showed that she was uncomfortable — but if that wasn’t enough of a clue, the “stop” she yelled in protest should have been enough for him to go away.

That’s when it really hit me how serious the situation was. I could immediately picture it escalating. I didn’t see an 8-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy anymore; I saw the two of them as fully grown and matured adults. The girl was still small and skinny, and the boy was large enough to overpower her with little effort. I could see her running away from him, trying to push off his advances in a more sexual situation, but him refusing to believe that she really wanted him to stop. I saw him ignoring her physical protests right along with the verbal ones, convinced she wanted him there. It horrified me.

I reprimanded him immediately, insisting that when someone asks you to stop, it’s important to listen. Almost seconds later, a male counselor standing by the same section of the pool told him not to listen to me and to continue his pursuit of this little girl, despite her obvious protests. Here were two boys, roughly 10 years apart in age, but with the same views on women: that consent doesn’t matter. It’s not a generational thing: this mindset has clearly been ingrained into the public psyche from an early age. How often are we told not to take no for an answer? How often do we see children pestering their parents about getting a new toy until they eventually give in? How often do we hear about a woman’s whims coming with her menstrual cycle? How often do we see on television shows and in movies a woman “changing her mind” about a man who is persistent enough or who just proves himself worthy? The idea that a woman will change her mind is so ingrained that we can’t always recognize it at first.

"

Jackie Klein, A Lesson In Consent For All Ages, (via feminspire)

Please teach your kids, especially your sons, from an early age to respect others space and bodies.

(via face-down-asgard-up)

As someone who got groped by a bunch of teenagers in a swimming pool when I was 11 this strikes really close to home. The lifeguards at the swimming pool said it were just boys being boys until one of them tried to rip my bathing suit off. I still don’t feel save so it angers me that this counselor told a boy to pursue this guy and violate her personal space/that we shouldn’t respect that person’s body. Fuck that shit.

(via jhameia)

1 year ago
#sexual assault #consent 
fuckyeahsexeducation:

TW: Assault/Rape
hungoverjesus:

rats-in-the-walls:

folk-piggie:

spellbound-masquerade:
THIS.

theducttapeproject:

The Duct Tape Project“Men and boys can be assaulted and raped by women. It’s not related to masculinity”Either gender can be assaulted by either gender. People tend to think that it is not possible for males to be assaulted by females. This is not true. And it doesn’t make the victim any less of a man for it before the assault or afterwards.

Too many people forget that males can also be raped. It’s not just females who get abused and/or raped. Males do as well. This needs to change. Just because a male gets raped, it doesn’t make him any less deserving of help than if it was a female who was raped by a male. It can go the other way round.

People’s general attitude towards men being sexually assaulted is “lol” and “well that doesn’t sound like a problem!” This attitude contributes towards men feeling emasculated and it needs to stop. 

I’m glad that people didn’t just go “lol did you like it?” when it happened to me.

This needs to be circulated more.
2 years ago
#tw: rape #tw: sexual assault #rape #sexual assault 
2 years ago
#tw: rape #trigger warning #rape culture #sexual assault 
McDonald’s strip-search hoax turned into movie without victim’s knowledge

Tw: Rape, victim blaming

Zobel changed the names for his movie and set it in a fictional “Chick-Wich” restaurant in Ohio. But he said in several interviews with online publications that it was based on the Bullitt County case and that the “weirder and yuckier the things in our movie, the more likely it is that they really happened.”


Ogborn, who won a $6.1 million jury verdict against McDonald’s that was later settled for an undisclosed sum, has since married and had a child. She didn’t respond to requests for comment.

Stewart’s lawyer, Steve Romines, said his client hadn’t known about the movie.

McDonald’s corporate spokesman, William Whitman, didn’t respond to a request for comment and neither did its Louisville lawyer, Margaret Keane.

Legal experts, including Bill Hollander, an intellectual property lawyer who is managing partner of the Louisville firm of Wyatt Tarrant & Combs, said filmmakers may fictionalize someone’s life story without their consent, although they could be sued for defamation or invasion of privacy if they knowingly or recklessly get the facts wrong.

Jennifer Rothman, a professor at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles who has worked in the movie industry, said filmmakers customarily buy story rights from a subject to avoid subsequent litigation and criticism.

In an interview on New York Magazine’s entertainment website “Vulture,” Zobel admits that his movie, which isn’t rated, is challenging to watch, even for him. “It’s not for everybody.”

He said he didn’t make it just for controversy but knew it would bother some people.

“So beat me up,” he said. “I am not going to apologize.”


He has described the film as about “the danger of letting go of one’s own common-sense belief system and giving it over to authority. I think that happens all the time, and the consequences, like in this movie, are huge.”

Ogborn’s character is played by actress Dreama Walker, who has appeared in the teen TV drama “Gossip Girl” and played Clint Eastwood’s granddaughter in the movie “Gran Torino.”

The Courier-Journal was told that Walker wasn’t available for an interview. But she told a Los Angeles Times movie blogger that she studied transcripts and interviews from the McDonald’s case to get her part right.

“My whole thing for playing the character was that she wasn’t an idiot,” she said. “She was just really young, very naive and was in these high-stakes circumstances where she thought she was going to lose her job if she didn’t do as she was told.


“We all think we would react in a certain way, react boldly,” Walker said. “Sometimes that’s not really the case at all.”

Oldfather said Ogborn is trying to put her ordeal behind her and most likely will never see “Compliance.”

“My feeling is the last thing she would ever want to do is watch a movie about something that was hell for her,” Oldfather said.

The perverse tale of blind obedience to authority first unfolded eight years ago in a McDonald’s restaurant in Mount Washington, Ky., just south of Louisville, when an 18-year-old employee was subjected to a humiliating strip search orchestrated by a prank caller pretending to be a cop.

Now it may be coming to a theater near you.

“Compliance,” a movie based on the McDonald’s strip-search hoax case, premiered last month at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah and has been acquired by a major distributor, which expects to release it this summer.

Dozens of film-goers walked out of the debut and hecklers later screamed at director Craig Zobel that his 90-minute film was exploitative and misogynistic.

“Rape is not entertainment,” one of them yelled at a question-and-answer session with the director.

But critics generally have raved about the movie, which includes scenes with nudity and degradation.


Hollywood Reporter called it “a suspenseful psychological drama for viewers prepared to tolerate its extremes,” while bestmoviesevernews.com said it “works wonderfully as a horror suspense film without any gore or blood.”

“So beat me up,” he said. “I am not going to apologize.” 

You sir are a huge asshole. He doesn’t care about what really happened, he’s just exploiting the situation and making money out of it.
Seriously fuck whoever thought this was a good idea, fuck the person who didn’t ask for the victim her consent to make this movie and not getting the facts right, fuck anyone who supports this fucking asshole and this movie.

(Source: ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com)

2 years ago
#rape #sexual assault #rape culture 
2 years ago
#projectunbreakable #rape #sexual assault #Trigger warning #tw: rape #tw: sexual assault 
The Not Rape Epidemic: "Yes, we learned a lot about rape. What we were not prepared for was everything else. Rape was something we could identify, an act with a strict definition and two distinct scenarios. Not rape was something else entirely. Not rape was all those other little things that we experienced everyday and struggled to learn how to deal with those situations. In those days, my ears were filled with secrets that were not my own, the confessions of not rapes experienced by the girls I knew then and the women I know now."→

(via shiftyshrike)

2 years ago
#Sexual assault 
2 years ago
#Misfits #sexual assault #drug #rape